The Peace Makers

Sibling Rivalry Because of Social Activities

December 7, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Sibling rivalry happens often in homes with more than one child and can be due to a plethora of reasons but sometimes it is because each child has different social activities. Once child can be into sports and have a certain group of friends with the same interests while the other child is into academics, theater or music and their friends are different as well.

These differences can cause children to argue or not get along well because their interests are so different from each other and of course, their friends are from different dynamics. One child may feel that the other one doesn’t understand their interests or that they are not as important because of what they like to do. It is important as parents to show equal praise and understanding for both children so that the sibling rivalry can be lessened. If one child believes that the parents are more proud of their siblings because of awards won or titles held, it can cause more issues than normal. That is why you must make sure that both children feel the same amount of love.

This can happen as well in households where one child is into many different activities and the other child isn’t into much at all. The child that doesn’t care for sports or academic clubs may feel left out or not as important and this can cause resentment. Always let your children know that they are important no matter what their interests in life even if it is something you didn’t expect them to enjoy or would rather them find another hobby. Children will choose what they like to do and while this can be surprising to some parents, let them find their own way. Allowing them to choose can make it easier to get along with their siblings by feeling accepted.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Home, Parent, Sibling

Can you stop your children from fighting with each other?

June 19, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

All siblings fight, if its not about one thing its about another, especially in families that have more than 2 children, they will fight about stupid stuff and they will fight about some serious stuff. First of all you should let your kids know that fighting isnt the solution to the problem, it just makes it worse.

Start by having house rules about fighting and make sure that the kids follow these rules. Remind the children that life is too short to fight and be angrywith one another. Let each child know you know how they feel, tell them stories about you and your siblings if needed, which could also get them to calm down while your telling a story. Expressing your frustrations to them doesntmean you have to yell, if you need to take a minute before talking to each child, so that you will not yell or be angry.

Another way to geet them to stop fighting is to threaten to separate them if they continue to fight, more than likely they will stop because they would rather stay together them be separated. This will happen more if they share a room and they are fighting over each other possessions, in this case you may want to designate there own space so that will minimize the fighting between them.

Also you should give each child there own one on one time with you so that they don’t feel that they have to fight for there parents attention, you should also never compare them to each other or that there a like, they want to be different from each other not the same.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling

When is the right time to discipline your kids…

June 12, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

There is a place and time, wrong a right way to discipline your children. Yelling at them in front of family and friends will only make them feel as though your embarrassing them. Education can be used as a disciplinary action, or even as a consequence for misbehavior. Have the child write out I will not be bad a certain number of time might make them not want to do what they did ever again.

expressing your disapproval can be another way of disciplining your children, When you let the children know that your not happy can sometimes make the children upset, most children want there parent approval, knowing that your unhappy will make them try to get your approval back, but dont take it to far and don’t get carried away with it or nag them.

After you have expressed your disapproval, have a conversation with them about why you are unhappy with them,make them understand what they did wrong instead of yelling at them, open communication is usually needed to change the child’s behavior. Separation also works well when there are more than one child or they are fightin over a toy, Separate the children and take away the toy, then when they are both calmed down bring them back together and explain why they were separated, hopefully they will be nicer to each other.

Lastly there’s the good old fashion time outs, putting them in time out gives them the time to cool off and reflect about what they did wrong, putting younger children in time out is a lot different then putting older children in time out.

Image source from http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://tips4families.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Child-Discipline-200×300.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.tips4families.com/2010/02/03/child-discipline-7-tips-every-parent-must-implement/&usg=__Q-yb8wXl4izTav7TkBa2k8EkVmA=&h=300&w=200&sz=13&hl=en&start=18&zoom=1&tbnid=6KnO1wJJ0Ib1sM:&tbnh=175&tbnw=117&ei=pukBTpGsEoitgQfEj5TxDQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Ddiscipline%2Bchildren%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26authuser%3D0%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D699%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=171&vpy=330&dur=4717&hovh=240&hovw=160&tx=87&ty=157&page=2&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:12,s:18&biw=1280&bih=699

Filed Under: Discipline Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Parent

Let the battle begin….

June 6, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Sibling rivalry happens in every family, not matter how many there are of you. It happens because of birth order or if a parent spends more time with one child then they do another. Most children of the same family will have differences in there personality, that will also bring on the fighting between siblings, not all of us are alike.

All brothers and sisters will fight, there’s no getting around it but there are ways of making it better, just make sure that you set a time for each child, make each of them feel important in the own way. if one child likes movies and the other likes horseback riding those would be the activities that you do with each child, then one day do one activity all together as a family. Some families are lucky enough that none of there kids fight and there the best of friends, well thats not everyone’s family.

If you start early and teach the kids that there is not reason to fight, there probably going to still fight. Younger siblings feel that the old sibling gets more than they do, and vice versa, starting out with the older sibling while your pregnant with the baby. Make them feel important, which showing them pictures and telling them they will be a “Big” brother or sister, this will make them want to be the best they can be. There might be a good chance that you won’t even have to deal with sibling rivalry if you nip it in the bud early.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling

4 Rewards Your Child Will Love

May 17, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Child psychologists have long dismissed the notion of punishing children for sibling rivalry. Siblings often misbehave for attention, either a parent’s undivided attention or more of a parent’s attention than their siblings receive.

A positive reward system accompanied by a reinforcement of the rules is a preferred method. What better way to reward siblings for behaving, than to give them each your undivided time and attention.

Taking Time to Listen

In mild cases of sibling rivalry, sometimes all it takes is getting to the root of the problem. Talk to the kids about what sets off the arguing between them.

Role-playing the Sibling Rivalry

Any parent will tell you that children love to act, whether they admit to it or not. Clever parents can encourage their children to dress up, in their own childrens costumes or in their parents’ clothes to act out their frustrations. To make it more interesting, have them play each other’s role as well as taking a turn playing their own part.

Planning Time Together

Tell your children that if they can go through one day without fighting, you will participate in an activity of their choice that day, no matter how busy you may be. Take suggestions from both and work out a deal to do one or both, while you choose the day.

Planning a Day Together

If they continue the behavior for a few days or more, plan an entire day together, free from work and school. Promise to take them to an amusement park, to the movies and out to lunch, or any activity that is a particular favorite for your kids.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Parent, Sibling

The Modern Family Dilemma: Sharing the Computer

May 15, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Tension commonly arises between family members when they have to share limited resources such as the bathroom, the television, the car and for the modern family, the computer. For the average family, having more than one big-ticket device like a computer just doesn’t fit into the budget. Thus, each person in the family has to come to a consensus on how to best share the computer equally. This can prove difficult for children, who now walk around with computers attached to their hips. And when you include office working parents, it’s a recipe for conflict.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jemsweb/4848806366/lightbox/

A productive solution for how a family can share a single computer is to construct a flexible schedule. Each member of the family who uses the computer should be provided a time slot each day during which they can log on. However, everyone needs to agree that the schedule becomes flexible when someone has an urgent project to work on or needs additional time to finish what they are doing. With a schedule, arguments won’t arise from one person being on the computer too long, or someone not having a chance to get on at all.

While the use of the computer should be organized, so should the actual computer. Everyone should be courteous while using the computer by organizing electronic documents and downloads in their own folders. That will eliminate clutter that can keep another family member from navigating through all the open windows to find their own documents. Everyone should also refrain from snooping into each other’s folders too.

Filed Under: Education, General, Parenting Tagged With: Electronic document, Family, Home

Ways to Discipline Quietly

May 9, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

As a every parent knows, children have the tendency to get out of hand at times, prompting a heated tongue lashing or sentence to the time-out corner. For parents, it’s not only the disobedience of their children that is so nerve-wracking but their own reaction as they raise their voice in anger. It creates quite a pickle for parents who want to discipline their children but at the same time don’t want to lose control and scare them. Parents should then follow the words of President Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Parents need to be mindful in how they react to disobedience because children learn much better under calmer circumstances. In fact, studies have shown that spanking is damaging to a child’s development. Instead of resorting to such physical punishment or yelling, parents can discipline their children by having a simple conversation with them. An extensive discussion with a child has more effect than short loud bursts. The child learns what they did wrong and why it disappoints his or her parents, leaving more time to feel remorse; meanwhile, the parents can calmly get their point across and garner further insight as to what spurred their child’s action.

Giving rewards to children based on merit is another quiet affair. The teaching method of positive reinforcement provides children a blueprint on how to act appropriately and all the parent has to do for discipline is rescind the reward. It also gives children a goal to strive for, thus more of a reason to act obediently.

Filed Under: Discipline, General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Reinforcement

What is Appropriate for your Child to Wear Vs. What’s Popular?

May 8, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

DrJays is one of the first stores that were able to adapt to the urban and hip hop lifestyle. The first ever store of Dr Jays was built in Bronx, New York in 1975. The owners of DrJays are divided into two; the first group of owners is the older batch who owns the physical store, and who sold rights to use the store name to sell online two the second group. Their legacy of course began when they first opened the store, but it had continued to grow its success when they began selling over the internet. Since Drjays, opened their online store, it has quickly become one of the top sources of the hip hop & urban clothing and sportswear.

DrJays offers a large variety of brand names to choose from, like Nike, Adidas, Lacoste, Levi’s, Coogi, Timberland, Ecko Unltd, Avirex, Steve Madden and many more and they do not only to cater to men and women’s clothing, they also cater to young men and women, and even children’s apparel. The clothing and accessories of DrJays comes with a very reasonable price. Many people say that they’re saving money whenever they shop at DrJays.

Many parents also like to shop for their kid’s clothes at DrJays, because for one, the brand that were being sold in this store is not only popular but also has a good reputation when it comes to the quality of the apparel, and two they have a wide range of brand names to choose from, and lastly, they save a lot of money because the items that are being sold comes with an affordable price, plus they offer discounts and coupons too. This is why over the years of DrJays business they still manage to be on the top list of urban clothing.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Avirex, Clothing, Coogi

Turning a Sibling Rivalry Into a Positive

May 5, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

A common feature of a family is the sibling rivalry. Whether it’s for the love of their parents or an evolutionary instinct to survive, brothers and sisters have a tendency to go out of their way to best each other. Unfortunately, that intense competitiveness can lead to frayed relationships–between siblings as well as parents–and worst of all, someone being physically injured. However, the drive to be the family favorite can actually be channeled in a positive way. Consider that the sibling rivalry between Peyton and Eli Manning has produced two Super Bowl championships, and a close family. When parents sanction an area for their children to compete against one another, it will make everyone in the family stronger.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/richteabiscuit/876248679/lightbox/

A positive outlet for sibling rivalries is sports. Parents should introduce their children to sports not only as a fun, physical activity, but also as a means for releasing their competitive spirits. It is unlikely siblings will meet head-to-head on the playing field, because of age differences, so they will have to take out their frustrations on their non-related opponents. Sibling rivalries in sports also helps build a support network in a family as everyone attends games and learns to cheer for each other, no matter how much they would like to beat them.

Parents should also encourage their children to compete with their brains. Any parent would love to see their sons and daughters reach the top of the class. And when it means beating out their sibling, so will their children. Of course, parents must show support regardless of test scores.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Sibling

Sharing Yourself with Your Children

April 13, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Parents have to divide their time between children once there is more than one child. Along with sharing parents, children have to learn to share tasks, choosing the movie, playing with the puppy, all of which can contribute to sibling rivalry. Rivalry between siblings is normal and expected, but how the parents deal with it will determine the course of the fighting. Planning ahead, by scheduling things like who picks what topping go on the pizza, will diffuse problems before they start and lead to a more balanced, less stressful home life even with multiple children.

One of the biggest mistakes parents can make when trying to deal with or diffuse sibling rivalry is to treat both children the same. They are not the same. They are each an individual with their own personality, likes, dislikes, needs, etc. As the parent it is your job to spend time with both (or all) your children as a family, but also individually. This means, however, that the individual time and activities will not be the same. If you take Danny to a baseball game, it is OK to take Mike to a movie if Mike doesn’t like sports. The idea is to spend time with the child, doing something enjoyable in a one-on-one situation. Celebrate the successes and triumphs of each child, without comparison. Be proud of Billy for getting an A on his science test, but don’t expect Emily to get an A also. Instead be proud when she is the goalie for her soccer team and nobody scores against her. Both children are deserving of praise for their accomplishments.