General

The Modern Family Dilemma: Sharing the Computer

Tension commonly arises between family members when they have to share limited resources such as the bathroom, the television, the car and for the modern family, the computer. For the average family, having more than one big-ticket device like a computer just doesn’t fit into the budget. Thus, each person in the family has to come to a consensus on how to best share the computer equally. This can prove difficult for children, who now walk around with computers attached to their hips. And when you include office working parents, it’s a recipe for conflict.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jemsweb/4848806366/lightbox/

A productive solution for how a family can share a single computer is to construct a flexible schedule. Each member of the family who uses the computer should be provided a time slot each day during which they can log on. However, everyone needs to agree that the schedule becomes flexible when someone has an urgent project to work on or needs additional time to finish what they are doing. With a schedule, arguments won’t arise from one person being on the computer too long, or someone not having a chance to get on at all.

While the use of the computer should be organized, so should the actual computer. Everyone should be courteous while using the computer by organizing electronic documents and downloads in their own folders. That will eliminate clutter that can keep another family member from navigating through all the open windows to find their own documents. Everyone should also refrain from snooping into each other’s folders too.

Filed Under: Education, General, Parenting Tagged With: Electronic document, Family, Home

Ways to Discipline Quietly

As a every parent knows, children have the tendency to get out of hand at times, prompting a heated tongue lashing or sentence to the time-out corner. For parents, it’s not only the disobedience of their children that is so nerve-wracking but their own reaction as they raise their voice in anger. It creates quite a pickle for parents who want to discipline their children but at the same time don’t want to lose control and scare them. Parents should then follow the words of President Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Parents need to be mindful in how they react to disobedience because children learn much better under calmer circumstances. In fact, studies have shown that spanking is damaging to a child’s development. Instead of resorting to such physical punishment or yelling, parents can discipline their children by having a simple conversation with them. An extensive discussion with a child has more effect than short loud bursts. The child learns what they did wrong and why it disappoints his or her parents, leaving more time to feel remorse; meanwhile, the parents can calmly get their point across and garner further insight as to what spurred their child’s action.

Giving rewards to children based on merit is another quiet affair. The teaching method of positive reinforcement provides children a blueprint on how to act appropriately and all the parent has to do for discipline is rescind the reward. It also gives children a goal to strive for, thus more of a reason to act obediently.

Filed Under: Discipline, General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Reinforcement

What is Appropriate for your Child to Wear Vs. What’s Popular?

DrJays is one of the first stores that were able to adapt to the urban and hip hop lifestyle. The first ever store of Dr Jays was built in Bronx, New York in 1975. The owners of DrJays are divided into two; the first group of owners is the older batch who owns the physical store, and who sold rights to use the store name to sell online two the second group. Their legacy of course began when they first opened the store, but it had continued to grow its success when they began selling over the internet. Since Drjays, opened their online store, it has quickly become one of the top sources of the hip hop & urban clothing and sportswear.

DrJays offers a large variety of brand names to choose from, like Nike, Adidas, Lacoste, Levi’s, Coogi, Timberland, Ecko Unltd, Avirex, Steve Madden and many more and they do not only to cater to men and women’s clothing, they also cater to young men and women, and even children’s apparel. The clothing and accessories of DrJays comes with a very reasonable price. Many people say that they’re saving money whenever they shop at DrJays.

Many parents also like to shop for their kid’s clothes at DrJays, because for one, the brand that were being sold in this store is not only popular but also has a good reputation when it comes to the quality of the apparel, and two they have a wide range of brand names to choose from, and lastly, they save a lot of money because the items that are being sold comes with an affordable price, plus they offer discounts and coupons too. This is why over the years of DrJays business they still manage to be on the top list of urban clothing.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Avirex, Clothing, Coogi

Turning a Sibling Rivalry Into a Positive

A common feature of a family is the sibling rivalry. Whether it’s for the love of their parents or an evolutionary instinct to survive, brothers and sisters have a tendency to go out of their way to best each other. Unfortunately, that intense competitiveness can lead to frayed relationships–between siblings as well as parents–and worst of all, someone being physically injured. However, the drive to be the family favorite can actually be channeled in a positive way. Consider that the sibling rivalry between Peyton and Eli Manning has produced two Super Bowl championships, and a close family. When parents sanction an area for their children to compete against one another, it will make everyone in the family stronger.

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A positive outlet for sibling rivalries is sports. Parents should introduce their children to sports not only as a fun, physical activity, but also as a means for releasing their competitive spirits. It is unlikely siblings will meet head-to-head on the playing field, because of age differences, so they will have to take out their frustrations on their non-related opponents. Sibling rivalries in sports also helps build a support network in a family as everyone attends games and learns to cheer for each other, no matter how much they would like to beat them.

Parents should also encourage their children to compete with their brains. Any parent would love to see their sons and daughters reach the top of the class. And when it means beating out their sibling, so will their children. Of course, parents must show support regardless of test scores.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Sibling

Learning About the Stages of Child Development

Having a child is very rewarding, but how do you know if that child is developing normally? Naturally, it’s important that your child be checked out by a doctor if he or she isn’t developing on schedule. Understanding child development can also help you out in knowing the proper way to discipline your child. If you try to discipline your child in ways that are far above his or her age group, it won’t be effective. The child might not understand the punishment. At the same time, you want to discipline a child in a way that the child feels is acceptable (even though he or she might not like it). That punishment should grow and evolve, just as the child grows and evolves.

Pay close attention to your child’s development and needs, and you’ll also be less stressed about what’s happening in your child’s life. You’ll know why there are so many questions coming your way, or you’ll have a better idea of why your child is acting out or doing something that he or she never did before. Talking to your pediatrician can be one of the best ways to get information, but you can’t call the doctor all the time for every little thing. That’s why it’s so very important to learn about child development on your own – so you can answer a lot of your own questions and understand the difference between a phase in your child’s life and something that’s much more serious.

There are specific stages in the development of a child, and there are milestones that your child should be meeting. It’s understandable to be a little different from time to time, as no two children develop exactly the same, but it’s important to be similar in ability and attitude to children who are close in age. If that’s not the case with your child, you’ll need to find out why.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child development, Child discipline, Parent

Odd Man Out

While sibling rivalry exists any time there are more than one child in a family, it becomes worse when there are an odd number of children, and hits its peak in a household with three children. With three children it is easy for two to gang up on the other one, leaving them out of… whatever. Anything can be the excuse for this split, two older children trying to exclude a younger child, two girls excluding the one boy in the family, two children who like doing the same activity calling the other one weird because they don’t like it.

The list of reasons for division is endless and endlessly variable. What causes one child to be left out one day may seem totally unimportant the next day. Last week’s division can easily be left behind for this week’s realignment of relationships. The child who was left out of one thing may be the leader is causing another child to be left out of something else.

As parents, not only do we not want these divisions, we really can’t afford to allow them to continue. Allowing them is tantamount to saying that discrimination, for whatever reason, is not only acceptable, but is the way that things should be done. Children who are allowed to practice discrimination in the home, which is what they are doing by leaving one child out, will quickly adapt those lessons outside the home. Since they have learned that it is okay to discriminate a sibling, for whatever reason suits them at the moment, they will start to discriminate against others, with as little logical reason for doing so.

While there may be a few activities which one child should be excluded from, due to age, gender or ability, it should be the parent who makes those decisions, not the children. If two pre-teen children want to go to the mall, they probably shouldn’t bring their seven-year-old sibling with them. On the other hand, trying to keep that younger brother or sister out of their Monopoly game, just because they don’t think that child plays sophisticatedly enough just isn’t right.

Filed Under: Education, General Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling

Make Each Child Feel Special

Have you ever noticed that there is no such thing as a generic child? I mean, you’d think that they come in two varieties, one pink and the other blue; when in fact, they come in millions of different varieties. While some of those varieties are pink and others are blue, that doesn’t make all the pink ones the same, nor does it make all the blue ones the same.

Each child is an individual. They each have their own strengths, their own weaknesses, their own gifts and their own personalities. Each one has to be known as an individual, trained as an individual and loved as an individual. As parents, we must learn to know them, and to help each one become the best of them that they can be; not somebody else, not a generic pink or blue, but to be them.

One of the great things about this is that each child has something that makes them special. It may not be obvious right at the beginning, but it’s always there. Some children show their specialness right off the bat, while others hold it in secret for many years. But, it’s still there.

Part of the art of parenting is to find that specialness in each child and help to bring it forth. You see, it is that which makes them special that gives them their greatest chance of success. Trying to make a child successful at something that isn’t theirs is a recipe for disaster. I’m sure you’ve seen it. Dad’s a doctor, so little Johnny has to be a doctor too. But, what if little Johnny isn’t meant to be a doctor? What if Johnny is a dancer instead?

Helping each child to find what is special about them, and helping them to develop that inward gift is truly helping them prepare for life. On top of that, it’s a great way to avoid sibling rivalry, they won’t feel like they have to prove they’re better, they can be satisfied in knowing they’re the best at what they do.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent

Planning Ahead For Emergencies

Family emergencies can crop up in all sorts of places and spring from all sorts of situations. The best plan is to be prepared and know what to do if a disaster strikes. Here are some tips.

During a fire:

Crawl on the floor–smoke rises and the breathable air is close to the floor.
Check closed doors before opening them–if the door is hot, don’t open it.
If your clothes catch fire, stop, drop to the floor and roll to put the fire out. Do not run–this feeds the flames.

During a tornado:

Know the warning signs. Heavy dark gray or greenish storm clouds, large hail and a roaring sound like a train are all cues to immediately get to shelter.
Have a shelter and know how to get to it. If you live in tornado country, have regular drills with your family to practice the plan of quickly getting to the shelter and making sure that everyone’s accounted for.
If you’re outside when a tornado strikes, get to shelter. If no shelter is available, lie flat in a low spot on the ground–a ditch is good – and protect your head with your arms.

During a financial crisis:

Talk it over with your family. Ask if any of your extended family members can loan you money to help you stay afloat. Some people are too ashamed to do this–don’t be. If you need help, your family will understand.
Consider taking out a loan. Loan companies such as Great Plains Lending can help you get your life back on track and you can pay them off in small payments so that your finances don’t slump right back down again.
Learn to plan your finances so that you don’t have to struggle to make ends meet.

Emergencies, both natural and financial, are obviously not something that you can expect before they happen — but they’re definitely something you can plan for.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Family (House), Great Plains, Missouri, Tornado

Jealousy With Siblings

It is normal for there to be issues between siblings. It is the normal progression of any animal to find some type of strife within its pack. Families are much like a pack of lions, the father is the protector, the mother nurtures and feeds her children, and the children fight. Sometimes this fighting is in play, and sometimes it is not, either way, there are not too many differences from the little animals in your home versus the little animals in the wild.

In all seriousness, though, it is common for sibling to envy one another, or to be jealous. This is often the case when there is a new baby in the house. If there is a child in the home that is used to being the baby, they can often feel replaced, if not worse, completely rejected. This is when a parent needs to pay immediate attention to the child that is feeling the effect of the new sibling in the home. If not, there could be resentment on behalf of the older child, and depending on his or her age, acting out will soon follow.

There are many things that you can do to help with this situation. For starters, before the new baby is born, include the older sibling or siblings. This will give them a sense of ownership and inclusion, and will remedy the feeling of being replaced. Second, talk to the other child or children about how wonderful they are going to be as older brother or sisters. This will allow them to feel a sense of responsibility regarding the newest member of the family. This is also a good way to bring the other children together into a cohesive group, because now they will have a common task, an objective, or a goal.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling

Sharing Amongst Siblings

Siblings do not like to share, it is common knowledge, and many parents accept that. In fact, there have been sibling rivalries for hundreds, if not thousands, of years, because one sibling had something that the other wanted. Do Esau and Jacob ring a bell? However, there are things that parents can do today, to help curb some of the contention between siblings. The most common answer is to just buy each child the same thing, and viola! no more problems, but that is not the answer. In fact, that will have an adverse affect where a child will simply expect that he or she is going to get something because their sibling did. So how do parents tackle this age old problem?

The first thing to consider is the motive behind the problem, and why that motive exists. For instance, is a child upset over a toy, because he just feels like playing with it? Did it get taken away? Is it a toy that is used as a reward? These questions are very important because you can identify a selfish need, or a protective reaction. Some children are not fighting over a toy because they want it, some children feel that the other did not deserve to play with it, and therefore should give it to him or her or safe keeping.

The best way to handle this situation is to step in, and create some ground rules. For those that are exhibiting selfish motives, the plan could be simple. You simply tell them, that they must share something of theirs before the other is required to do so. This tells the child that a sacrifice is in order. With the other type of child, lovingly remind them that you are the parent and that they can have fun and not worry about their siblings. This will relax the child, and hopefully alleviate the need to be protective.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling