Child

Sibling Rivalry Because of Social Activities

Sibling rivalry happens often in homes with more than one child and can be due to a plethora of reasons but sometimes it is because each child has different social activities. Once child can be into sports and have a certain group of friends with the same interests while the other child is into academics, theater or music and their friends are different as well.

These differences can cause children to argue or not get along well because their interests are so different from each other and of course, their friends are from different dynamics. One child may feel that the other one doesn’t understand their interests or that they are not as important because of what they like to do. It is important as parents to show equal praise and understanding for both children so that the sibling rivalry can be lessened. If one child believes that the parents are more proud of their siblings because of awards won or titles held, it can cause more issues than normal. That is why you must make sure that both children feel the same amount of love.

This can happen as well in households where one child is into many different activities and the other child isn’t into much at all. The child that doesn’t care for sports or academic clubs may feel left out or not as important and this can cause resentment. Always let your children know that they are important no matter what their interests in life even if it is something you didn’t expect them to enjoy or would rather them find another hobby. Children will choose what they like to do and while this can be surprising to some parents, let them find their own way. Allowing them to choose can make it easier to get along with their siblings by feeling accepted.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Home, Parent, Sibling

Can you stop your children from fighting with each other?

All siblings fight, if its not about one thing its about another, especially in families that have more than 2 children, they will fight about stupid stuff and they will fight about some serious stuff. First of all you should let your kids know that fighting isnt the solution to the problem, it just makes it worse.

Start by having house rules about fighting and make sure that the kids follow these rules. Remind the children that life is too short to fight and be angrywith one another. Let each child know you know how they feel, tell them stories about you and your siblings if needed, which could also get them to calm down while your telling a story. Expressing your frustrations to them doesntmean you have to yell, if you need to take a minute before talking to each child, so that you will not yell or be angry.

Another way to geet them to stop fighting is to threaten to separate them if they continue to fight, more than likely they will stop because they would rather stay together them be separated. This will happen more if they share a room and they are fighting over each other possessions, in this case you may want to designate there own space so that will minimize the fighting between them.

Also you should give each child there own one on one time with you so that they don’t feel that they have to fight for there parents attention, you should also never compare them to each other or that there a like, they want to be different from each other not the same.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling

When is the right time to discipline your kids…

There is a place and time, wrong a right way to discipline your children. Yelling at them in front of family and friends will only make them feel as though your embarrassing them. Education can be used as a disciplinary action, or even as a consequence for misbehavior. Have the child write out I will not be bad a certain number of time might make them not want to do what they did ever again.

expressing your disapproval can be another way of disciplining your children, When you let the children know that your not happy can sometimes make the children upset, most children want there parent approval, knowing that your unhappy will make them try to get your approval back, but dont take it to far and don’t get carried away with it or nag them.

After you have expressed your disapproval, have a conversation with them about why you are unhappy with them,make them understand what they did wrong instead of yelling at them, open communication is usually needed to change the child’s behavior. Separation also works well when there are more than one child or they are fightin over a toy, Separate the children and take away the toy, then when they are both calmed down bring them back together and explain why they were separated, hopefully they will be nicer to each other.

Lastly there’s the good old fashion time outs, putting them in time out gives them the time to cool off and reflect about what they did wrong, putting younger children in time out is a lot different then putting older children in time out.

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Filed Under: Discipline Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Parent

Let the battle begin….

Sibling rivalry happens in every family, not matter how many there are of you. It happens because of birth order or if a parent spends more time with one child then they do another. Most children of the same family will have differences in there personality, that will also bring on the fighting between siblings, not all of us are alike.

All brothers and sisters will fight, there’s no getting around it but there are ways of making it better, just make sure that you set a time for each child, make each of them feel important in the own way. if one child likes movies and the other likes horseback riding those would be the activities that you do with each child, then one day do one activity all together as a family. Some families are lucky enough that none of there kids fight and there the best of friends, well thats not everyone’s family.

If you start early and teach the kids that there is not reason to fight, there probably going to still fight. Younger siblings feel that the old sibling gets more than they do, and vice versa, starting out with the older sibling while your pregnant with the baby. Make them feel important, which showing them pictures and telling them they will be a “Big” brother or sister, this will make them want to be the best they can be. There might be a good chance that you won’t even have to deal with sibling rivalry if you nip it in the bud early.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling

Ways to Discipline Quietly

As a every parent knows, children have the tendency to get out of hand at times, prompting a heated tongue lashing or sentence to the time-out corner. For parents, it’s not only the disobedience of their children that is so nerve-wracking but their own reaction as they raise their voice in anger. It creates quite a pickle for parents who want to discipline their children but at the same time don’t want to lose control and scare them. Parents should then follow the words of President Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Parents need to be mindful in how they react to disobedience because children learn much better under calmer circumstances. In fact, studies have shown that spanking is damaging to a child’s development. Instead of resorting to such physical punishment or yelling, parents can discipline their children by having a simple conversation with them. An extensive discussion with a child has more effect than short loud bursts. The child learns what they did wrong and why it disappoints his or her parents, leaving more time to feel remorse; meanwhile, the parents can calmly get their point across and garner further insight as to what spurred their child’s action.

Giving rewards to children based on merit is another quiet affair. The teaching method of positive reinforcement provides children a blueprint on how to act appropriately and all the parent has to do for discipline is rescind the reward. It also gives children a goal to strive for, thus more of a reason to act obediently.

Filed Under: Discipline, General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Reinforcement

Turning a Sibling Rivalry Into a Positive

A common feature of a family is the sibling rivalry. Whether it’s for the love of their parents or an evolutionary instinct to survive, brothers and sisters have a tendency to go out of their way to best each other. Unfortunately, that intense competitiveness can lead to frayed relationships–between siblings as well as parents–and worst of all, someone being physically injured. However, the drive to be the family favorite can actually be channeled in a positive way. Consider that the sibling rivalry between Peyton and Eli Manning has produced two Super Bowl championships, and a close family. When parents sanction an area for their children to compete against one another, it will make everyone in the family stronger.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/richteabiscuit/876248679/lightbox/

A positive outlet for sibling rivalries is sports. Parents should introduce their children to sports not only as a fun, physical activity, but also as a means for releasing their competitive spirits. It is unlikely siblings will meet head-to-head on the playing field, because of age differences, so they will have to take out their frustrations on their non-related opponents. Sibling rivalries in sports also helps build a support network in a family as everyone attends games and learns to cheer for each other, no matter how much they would like to beat them.

Parents should also encourage their children to compete with their brains. Any parent would love to see their sons and daughters reach the top of the class. And when it means beating out their sibling, so will their children. Of course, parents must show support regardless of test scores.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Sibling

Sharing Yourself with Your Children

Parents have to divide their time between children once there is more than one child. Along with sharing parents, children have to learn to share tasks, choosing the movie, playing with the puppy, all of which can contribute to sibling rivalry. Rivalry between siblings is normal and expected, but how the parents deal with it will determine the course of the fighting. Planning ahead, by scheduling things like who picks what topping go on the pizza, will diffuse problems before they start and lead to a more balanced, less stressful home life even with multiple children.

One of the biggest mistakes parents can make when trying to deal with or diffuse sibling rivalry is to treat both children the same. They are not the same. They are each an individual with their own personality, likes, dislikes, needs, etc. As the parent it is your job to spend time with both (or all) your children as a family, but also individually. This means, however, that the individual time and activities will not be the same. If you take Danny to a baseball game, it is OK to take Mike to a movie if Mike doesn’t like sports. The idea is to spend time with the child, doing something enjoyable in a one-on-one situation. Celebrate the successes and triumphs of each child, without comparison. Be proud of Billy for getting an A on his science test, but don’t expect Emily to get an A also. Instead be proud when she is the goalie for her soccer team and nobody scores against her. Both children are deserving of praise for their accomplishments.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling

Who’s in Charge Here?

As parents, it falls to us to be in charge in our homes. I realize that may seem simplistic, but it’s amazing how few children understand it. Actually, if you analyze the actions of children, it seems that they think they are supposed to be in charge. Whether or not they succeed depends upon what the parents do to remove them from the throne.

Let me explain here; babies are naturally the most self-centered individuals in the world. All they have to do is cry, and their whole world jumps to meet their every desire. While this is necessary for a baby’s survival, sometimes it has to be dealt with. If that baby continues to be dealt with in the same way throughout its formative years, it becomes a spoiled brat, expecting the whole world to revolve around its wishes. Somewhere along the line, parents have to stop jumping, and start saying “no” the most dreaded word in the English language.

This transition is never an easy one. Children can be extremely clever in finding reasons why everyone should still jump whenever they cry. They don’t like giving up that level of control, nor do they like not getting everything they want. So, what’s a parent to do?

The answer is learning to ignore their crying. Yep, ignore those times they cry to get their way. In those cases, the best way to teach them not to cry is to ignore them. Let them cry, but make them do it on their own. They’ll quickly learn that throwing a temper tantrum, without an audience, isn’t much fun at all.

The worst thing you can do is to give in to your child’s crying. If you do that, then they are the ones who are in control in your house.

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent

Purchasing A Child A Computer

Purchasing a computer for a child is a big step. By the time a parent considers this step, they have seen that their child is either deserving or that their educational demands are increasing. Schools are expecting that students either have access to up-to-date computers or that they own their in their homes. For many parents this is a matter of sharing, and at times, sharing is not convenient. There are a couple of considerations for parents to make when they are serious about purchasing a computer for their child.

The first consideration is whether or not the child is old enough. There are many dangers on the Internet, including child predators. These people prey on children to harm them in some way. It is wise to educate your child or assess their knowledge of these predatory situations. In order to help children safe, it is a good idea to check to see if your child is aware of Internet dangers. The next step is testing your child to see if they can stick with rules that have been put in place for them. It is important that children respect boundaries placed on them regarding computers and how to use them responsibly.

For many children, they are usually ready once they reach age 10. Some of the contributing factors to their preparedness is the fact that at this point in their lives they would have been exposed to computers for at least three years. School is a great way for students to learn the proper way to use computers, and to learn responsibility. Also, having an antivirus software on a new computer can be very beneficial. Children tend to surf all kinds of sites, including games and researching sites. These can bring viruses. PC Tools antivirus is a program that can help to protect and preserve a computer.

Filed Under: Education, Parenting Tagged With: Anti-Virus, Child, Parent

Sharing, or Socialism?

How many times have you heard, “Mommy, make them share it with me”? That one cry of desperation seems to be one of those that all children learn and learn well. They never cry to share what they have with others, just to get their piece of what the other one has.

While sharing is a great thing to teach children, it can go too far and become socialism. If a child receives a candy bar as a prize for doing something well in school, you can almost guarantee that their brothers and sisters will sound forth the battle cry of, “make them share.” Is that right? Did the other child do something to earn that prize? What are we teaching if we make the child share their prize?

Actually, by making that child share, we’re teaching two lessons. We’re teaching the child that won the prize is that doing something well isn’t worthwhile, because you won’t get to enjoy the fruits of your labors. For the child who received without working, we’re teaching the lesson that you don’t need to work to get ahead, all you have to do is shout loud enough and others have to give you what they’re worked for. Are these the types of lessons we want to teach?

I’m not saying that there’s no place for sharing. What I am saying is that forcing your kids to share isn’t the way to teach it to them. The way to teach it to them is to model it before them. Let them see you, as parents, demonstrating that you share. Explain why you are doing it. They will follow your example.

There are some things in your home that are common property; they belong equally to everyone in the family. Those things must be shared. If one child tries to hog a toy which is common property, they should be corrected. On the other hand, if there is a toy that belongs to one child, they should not be forced to share it with others. That should be a decision which they make on their own.

Filed Under: Education, Online Resources Tagged With: Child, Education, Family