Family

Sibling Rivalry Because of Social Activities

Sibling rivalry happens often in homes with more than one child and can be due to a plethora of reasons but sometimes it is because each child has different social activities. Once child can be into sports and have a certain group of friends with the same interests while the other child is into academics, theater or music and their friends are different as well.

These differences can cause children to argue or not get along well because their interests are so different from each other and of course, their friends are from different dynamics. One child may feel that the other one doesn’t understand their interests or that they are not as important because of what they like to do. It is important as parents to show equal praise and understanding for both children so that the sibling rivalry can be lessened. If one child believes that the parents are more proud of their siblings because of awards won or titles held, it can cause more issues than normal. That is why you must make sure that both children feel the same amount of love.

This can happen as well in households where one child is into many different activities and the other child isn’t into much at all. The child that doesn’t care for sports or academic clubs may feel left out or not as important and this can cause resentment. Always let your children know that they are important no matter what their interests in life even if it is something you didn’t expect them to enjoy or would rather them find another hobby. Children will choose what they like to do and while this can be surprising to some parents, let them find their own way. Allowing them to choose can make it easier to get along with their siblings by feeling accepted.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Home, Parent, Sibling

Let the battle begin….

Sibling rivalry happens in every family, not matter how many there are of you. It happens because of birth order or if a parent spends more time with one child then they do another. Most children of the same family will have differences in there personality, that will also bring on the fighting between siblings, not all of us are alike.

All brothers and sisters will fight, there’s no getting around it but there are ways of making it better, just make sure that you set a time for each child, make each of them feel important in the own way. if one child likes movies and the other likes horseback riding those would be the activities that you do with each child, then one day do one activity all together as a family. Some families are lucky enough that none of there kids fight and there the best of friends, well thats not everyone’s family.

If you start early and teach the kids that there is not reason to fight, there probably going to still fight. Younger siblings feel that the old sibling gets more than they do, and vice versa, starting out with the older sibling while your pregnant with the baby. Make them feel important, which showing them pictures and telling them they will be a “Big” brother or sister, this will make them want to be the best they can be. There might be a good chance that you won’t even have to deal with sibling rivalry if you nip it in the bud early.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling

The Modern Family Dilemma: Sharing the Computer

Tension commonly arises between family members when they have to share limited resources such as the bathroom, the television, the car and for the modern family, the computer. For the average family, having more than one big-ticket device like a computer just doesn’t fit into the budget. Thus, each person in the family has to come to a consensus on how to best share the computer equally. This can prove difficult for children, who now walk around with computers attached to their hips. And when you include office working parents, it’s a recipe for conflict.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jemsweb/4848806366/lightbox/

A productive solution for how a family can share a single computer is to construct a flexible schedule. Each member of the family who uses the computer should be provided a time slot each day during which they can log on. However, everyone needs to agree that the schedule becomes flexible when someone has an urgent project to work on or needs additional time to finish what they are doing. With a schedule, arguments won’t arise from one person being on the computer too long, or someone not having a chance to get on at all.

While the use of the computer should be organized, so should the actual computer. Everyone should be courteous while using the computer by organizing electronic documents and downloads in their own folders. That will eliminate clutter that can keep another family member from navigating through all the open windows to find their own documents. Everyone should also refrain from snooping into each other’s folders too.

Filed Under: Education, General, Parenting Tagged With: Electronic document, Family, Home

Ways to Discipline Quietly

As a every parent knows, children have the tendency to get out of hand at times, prompting a heated tongue lashing or sentence to the time-out corner. For parents, it’s not only the disobedience of their children that is so nerve-wracking but their own reaction as they raise their voice in anger. It creates quite a pickle for parents who want to discipline their children but at the same time don’t want to lose control and scare them. Parents should then follow the words of President Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”

Parents need to be mindful in how they react to disobedience because children learn much better under calmer circumstances. In fact, studies have shown that spanking is damaging to a child’s development. Instead of resorting to such physical punishment or yelling, parents can discipline their children by having a simple conversation with them. An extensive discussion with a child has more effect than short loud bursts. The child learns what they did wrong and why it disappoints his or her parents, leaving more time to feel remorse; meanwhile, the parents can calmly get their point across and garner further insight as to what spurred their child’s action.

Giving rewards to children based on merit is another quiet affair. The teaching method of positive reinforcement provides children a blueprint on how to act appropriately and all the parent has to do for discipline is rescind the reward. It also gives children a goal to strive for, thus more of a reason to act obediently.

Filed Under: Discipline, General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Reinforcement

Turning a Sibling Rivalry Into a Positive

A common feature of a family is the sibling rivalry. Whether it’s for the love of their parents or an evolutionary instinct to survive, brothers and sisters have a tendency to go out of their way to best each other. Unfortunately, that intense competitiveness can lead to frayed relationships–between siblings as well as parents–and worst of all, someone being physically injured. However, the drive to be the family favorite can actually be channeled in a positive way. Consider that the sibling rivalry between Peyton and Eli Manning has produced two Super Bowl championships, and a close family. When parents sanction an area for their children to compete against one another, it will make everyone in the family stronger.

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/richteabiscuit/876248679/lightbox/

A positive outlet for sibling rivalries is sports. Parents should introduce their children to sports not only as a fun, physical activity, but also as a means for releasing their competitive spirits. It is unlikely siblings will meet head-to-head on the playing field, because of age differences, so they will have to take out their frustrations on their non-related opponents. Sibling rivalries in sports also helps build a support network in a family as everyone attends games and learns to cheer for each other, no matter how much they would like to beat them.

Parents should also encourage their children to compete with their brains. Any parent would love to see their sons and daughters reach the top of the class. And when it means beating out their sibling, so will their children. Of course, parents must show support regardless of test scores.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent, Sibling

You Should be Disciplined in Every Step of Life

The importance of maintaining discipline in everyone’s life cannot be ignored in any way. From the birth to death a person has always to be disciplined. There was a time when people were not civilized and no disciplines were maintained. With the development of this world people have become civilized and learn to maintain some discipline to lead a good and healthy life. Every man or woman should follow the disciplines to live as a respected man or woman in this society. In every society there are some particular disciplines for the people. A man or woman cannot get respect from others if he or she is not bother to follow the important disciplines.

In every household there are some disciplines that have to be followed by the family members. Parents teach their children about the essentiality of maintaining discipline. When a kid goes to take primary education from a school he or she starts to learn about the disciplines. In every school there are some rules which have to be followed by all students. You know that bookish knowledge is not enough for anyone to become a proper if he or is not conscious to follow the disciplines. Maintaining disciplines in school life enables the students to be proper men and women from all prospective.

Bookish knowledge cannot make a man or woman perfect if he or she is not conscious to follow the disciplines. In any professional sector everyone has to follow the rules and disciplines. You have to maintain your dress code properly. All the employees should join in office in proper time. In every office there are some particular rules for the employees. You can get a good reputation in your office if you follow all these rules properly. To maintain a good and healthy life you should follow some basic disciplines.

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting Tagged With: Family, God, Parenting

Who’s in Charge Here?

As parents, it falls to us to be in charge in our homes. I realize that may seem simplistic, but it’s amazing how few children understand it. Actually, if you analyze the actions of children, it seems that they think they are supposed to be in charge. Whether or not they succeed depends upon what the parents do to remove them from the throne.

Let me explain here; babies are naturally the most self-centered individuals in the world. All they have to do is cry, and their whole world jumps to meet their every desire. While this is necessary for a baby’s survival, sometimes it has to be dealt with. If that baby continues to be dealt with in the same way throughout its formative years, it becomes a spoiled brat, expecting the whole world to revolve around its wishes. Somewhere along the line, parents have to stop jumping, and start saying “no” the most dreaded word in the English language.

This transition is never an easy one. Children can be extremely clever in finding reasons why everyone should still jump whenever they cry. They don’t like giving up that level of control, nor do they like not getting everything they want. So, what’s a parent to do?

The answer is learning to ignore their crying. Yep, ignore those times they cry to get their way. In those cases, the best way to teach them not to cry is to ignore them. Let them cry, but make them do it on their own. They’ll quickly learn that throwing a temper tantrum, without an audience, isn’t much fun at all.

The worst thing you can do is to give in to your child’s crying. If you do that, then they are the ones who are in control in your house.

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent

Sharing, or Socialism?

How many times have you heard, “Mommy, make them share it with me”? That one cry of desperation seems to be one of those that all children learn and learn well. They never cry to share what they have with others, just to get their piece of what the other one has.

While sharing is a great thing to teach children, it can go too far and become socialism. If a child receives a candy bar as a prize for doing something well in school, you can almost guarantee that their brothers and sisters will sound forth the battle cry of, “make them share.” Is that right? Did the other child do something to earn that prize? What are we teaching if we make the child share their prize?

Actually, by making that child share, we’re teaching two lessons. We’re teaching the child that won the prize is that doing something well isn’t worthwhile, because you won’t get to enjoy the fruits of your labors. For the child who received without working, we’re teaching the lesson that you don’t need to work to get ahead, all you have to do is shout loud enough and others have to give you what they’re worked for. Are these the types of lessons we want to teach?

I’m not saying that there’s no place for sharing. What I am saying is that forcing your kids to share isn’t the way to teach it to them. The way to teach it to them is to model it before them. Let them see you, as parents, demonstrating that you share. Explain why you are doing it. They will follow your example.

There are some things in your home that are common property; they belong equally to everyone in the family. Those things must be shared. If one child tries to hog a toy which is common property, they should be corrected. On the other hand, if there is a toy that belongs to one child, they should not be forced to share it with others. That should be a decision which they make on their own.

Filed Under: Education, Online Resources Tagged With: Child, Education, Family

Odd Man Out

While sibling rivalry exists any time there are more than one child in a family, it becomes worse when there are an odd number of children, and hits its peak in a household with three children. With three children it is easy for two to gang up on the other one, leaving them out of… whatever. Anything can be the excuse for this split, two older children trying to exclude a younger child, two girls excluding the one boy in the family, two children who like doing the same activity calling the other one weird because they don’t like it.

The list of reasons for division is endless and endlessly variable. What causes one child to be left out one day may seem totally unimportant the next day. Last week’s division can easily be left behind for this week’s realignment of relationships. The child who was left out of one thing may be the leader is causing another child to be left out of something else.

As parents, not only do we not want these divisions, we really can’t afford to allow them to continue. Allowing them is tantamount to saying that discrimination, for whatever reason, is not only acceptable, but is the way that things should be done. Children who are allowed to practice discrimination in the home, which is what they are doing by leaving one child out, will quickly adapt those lessons outside the home. Since they have learned that it is okay to discriminate a sibling, for whatever reason suits them at the moment, they will start to discriminate against others, with as little logical reason for doing so.

While there may be a few activities which one child should be excluded from, due to age, gender or ability, it should be the parent who makes those decisions, not the children. If two pre-teen children want to go to the mall, they probably shouldn’t bring their seven-year-old sibling with them. On the other hand, trying to keep that younger brother or sister out of their Monopoly game, just because they don’t think that child plays sophisticatedly enough just isn’t right.

Filed Under: Education, General Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling

Making Sibling Rivalry Work for You

Sibling rivalry is here to stay; there’s no way you can eliminate it. That doesn’t mean you can’t control it, or channel it into healthy directions; you can’t make it just go away.

Sibling rivalry comes from the natural competitive nature that is in all of us. We are all competitive; you see it in the obvious places, like sports; but you also see it in the way we work and the way we spend money. Without this competitive nature, none of us would strive to get ahead, we’d all become like the sloth, just lazing around.

Rivalry and competitiveness, like any other character trait, has its positive side and its negative side. Usually, when we talk about sibling rivalry, we just talk about the negative side. You know, kids fighting with each other, blaming each other for doing things wrong and just plain being mean to each other. Okay, that’s the bad side, but what’s included in the good side?

The good side of sibling rivalry is the drive that it can give each child to do their best in their schoolwork, their chosen extra-curricular activities, and even in doing chores around the house. That natural competitive nature can be channeled into motivating each child to do the best they can in everything they do.

The key here is to properly reward each child for the effort they put forth, not necessarily for results. One child’s ability might make it easy for them to get straight “A”s in school, while another child may struggle to hold a C+ average. If you reward based upon how many As they get, you’ve just told that child who struggles that they aren’t worthwhile. But, if you set goals for improvement for each child, based upon their ability, then reward them for X number of points of improvement, you’ve rewarded their effort.

What happens then is that the comments between the children aren’t about “I’m smarter than you,” they become “I improved more than you.” That changes the “I’m better than you” into “I did better than you; a much healthier attitude.

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Sibling